Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ready or Not!!!!

Today I am a day away from being 38 weeks pregnant. What does that mean? Well it means I am full term and the baby can safely come at any moment now. Since Owen was 10 days late I'm assuming this baby will be late as well so Brad and I really haven't been on the ball about getting anything ready for this baby. Is it because we think the baby will be late and there is no hurry? Is it because this is our second rodeo? Whatever the reason is, we are not fully prepared. What have we done? Well, we pulled out the car seat and it is sitting in our living room (a constant reminder that the seat must be installed for us to be able to bring baby home from the hospital), we found the baby clothes and have the summer ones separated from the fall ones (still in the bin we found them in), we made the crib baby height (no sheets though), I bought one pack of size 1 diapers (luckily we have a ton of one size cloth diapers that I plan for baby and Owen to share), and we have talked about names (haven't finalized any yet). Looking at this list I realize we really haven't done much but until today I really haven't thought much about it. Why, all of a sudden, am I going over my list? Well today I went to the doctor for a check-up and the nurse asked me if I wanted doc to strip my membranes. Having never been given that option with Owen I had no idea what she was talking about. So, I calmly ask, "What does that mean?" The nurse informs me of the process (I'll spare you the details) and lets me know this is a natural way to induce labor in some women. After giving me the info she leaves the room and an overwhelming sense of warmth and nervousness comes over me all at once. I feel I'm about to have a panic attack. NO, I can't be induced, I'm NOT ready!!! For one, Brad was out of town and he he is not suppose to be home until Thursday. Two, I have this terrible cough and so does Brad and Owen so we need to be better before we bring a baby home or before I am told to "PUSH" in the middle of a coughing fit. Three, refer to my above list. I'm not ready!!! But, will I ever be ready? Is one ever really ready for change? Change is always scary and I guess a lot of it is because of fear of the unknown. Boy, am I staring down that fear as it stands on my doorstep!!!! I thought, this is easy! I'm not longer a new parent! I've done this before, what is there to be scared of? Well, I guess I am a new parent! I am about to be a new parent to a second child and I have NO IDEA what is in store for me. All I know is, ready or not this baby is coming!

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